Easy Tomato Pasta for when you dunno what life even is and you can’t afford deliveroo. £CHEAP


Image result for stock image woman eating pasta
While this is another hilarious stock photo which is questionable on so many levels, (the false lashes, such WHITE TEETH, the weird camera angle) the actual pasta looks pretty bang on to what you’re gonna be making lol

‘Sup. Hope you enjoyed that stock image as much as I did.

This is what to cook when you don’t know what to cook. It uses up anything you like and takes probs 15 mins lol. It’s vegetenarian for the time being but the beauty of this is that you can add anything you like to your frying pan before it gets c o v e r e d in sauce. I haven’t got a bloody clue how much this makes, so I’m not gonna cost the recipe, but the delightful thing is, you can choose whether to cook extra and take it for lunch, or eat all of it in one sitting like Mr Creosote.

What you need:

  • Pasta (infinite). I think spirals, or ‘fusilli’ if you’re multicultural, work well for this.
  • Half an onion or so – I like red for this dish. Not very much tho, if you’re just cooking up for one.
  • sOfT veggies like peppers, mushrooms, courgettes or aubergines. For one person, I’d use 1/4 of a courgette, 1/2 a red pepper, 3 chestnut mushrooms and no aubergines. Scale that up according to your hunger level. Cherry tomatoes that need using up are good too.
  • A noice bit of olive oil.
  • A tin of tomatoes (or half of you’re only serving one) /really grim soft tomatoes that need cooking down
  • Pinch of sugar (not joking, actually really helps)
  • A squirt of tomato puree, or if you’re lazy, ketchup.
  • Lots of salt.
  • Black Pepper
  • Dried herbs like basil, oregano, thyme.  – a tablespoon or so – quite a lot.
  • Fresh Basil/a big spoon of pesto sauce.
  • Sum cheese to sprinkle over


Chop all your veg into wee chunks to begin with. I like mine a little smaller than the pasta bits themselves but up to you tbh.

Start by frying your onion in a wee sploosh of olive oil – you can add any meaty things you like here tbh – sausage is nice. Once the onions have gone soft (you can put the lid on to sweat them and speed this up) add your veg and stir around till it’s got some cheeky brown bits on the outside but is still cronch-cronch. Add some salt.

Now is an excellent time to add yer tin of tomats to the cronch-veg, along with that pinch of sugar I mentioned – oh, if you’re using ketchup, dunnae bother wit the sugar. Squeeze in your puree/ketchup and dried herbs now and let this all simmer on medium for a wee bit. Taste it. Does it need salt? Yes, obviously. Add salt, and if you’re brave, worcestershire sauce and a teaspoon of marmite. Gives an umami kick. Yum. If it’s tasting too acidic at this point, add a drizzle of olive oil. Oh yes, if you want to be cheffy and creative about adding salty things, smack in chopped black olives or anchovies at this moment. If that sounds like your worst nightmare, consider yourself uncultured.

While the sauce is going all squoogaly on medium (add a spalsh of water if it’s getting thicc), start boiling your pasta. Please salt your water, or I shall salt you. When your pasta is just about done, and the veggies in the sauce are cooked through, you can stir in a tablespoon of pesto to the sauce to add a basily flavour, or, failing that, fresh basil itself. This is totally optional but does raise your sauce game to the next level.

To serve, drain the pasta, and mix with the sauce in the pan (none of this spooning on top business thanks) then top with cheese.


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