Student Cuisine for the Gloomy Teen

Mi comida es tu comida, as the hungry polyglot once said. This is a very serious blog post because I am a very serious writer. Serious writers like me use proverbs which preface their every piece. Serious writers talk in profound, cerebral tones, which are designed to make the reader - and writer, in part … Continue reading Authentic Fusion Food: Haggis, Neeps & Tatties Shepherd’s Pie

It's literally just the recipe. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

It plonks itself down on the plate in front of me, freed from the confines of the tin in which it was so effortlessly baked. It’s still warm. Then it says something.  “I’m undefinable, baby.”  I should be taken aback at a traybake being able to speak of its own accord, but what it states … Continue reading Raspberry-Flapjack-Crumble-Bars: An Interview

If your brain is ever too full, one way to unfill it is to lie on the floor and think about pasta.  The other week, I lay on the floor for a change. As I considered the ceiling and its annoying neutrality, my brain whirred gently, like a freshly hatched helicopter. But about six minutes … Continue reading Lemon and Courgette Linguine (floor edition)

Editor's note: This will not age well and is probably a terrible idea but there you go. Enjoy. #AD  You guys. You huns. You BOSSBABES. It’s time for like, the big reveal!! For the last few months, i’ve been working super hard on my range of slow cooked bovine protein products and OMG they are … Continue reading Lazy steak and ale pie but it’s in the style of an instagram beauty influencer

Yeah, yeah I know. Trifle. Microwave. Not exactly two words you expect to go together. But this isn’t a proper trifle really. It’s a sort of weird take on trifle because proper trifle takes ages if you’re making the custard and jelly yourself - that is, without the help of Mr Bird’s and Mr Hartley.  … Continue reading 15 Minute Microwave Trifle

I made a new Instagram account this week, for reasons relating to the longevity of a future career in food media. The whole process irritated my cynicism gland enough to produce a few squirts of suspicion before I relaxed into it and made my photos public. The thing is, I’ve never really liked Instagram. The … Continue reading In defence of ugly food: hot concrete mushroom soup

Hello chaps, apologies for my absence these last few weeks. The time has just disappeared in a puff of 40-hour working week. Such fun. Anyhoo, I haven’t slowed down in the kitchen at all during this last month, despite the barren wastelands of the old blogeroo. No; far from it. I’ve played with celeriac for … Continue reading I have aged 50 years in 4 months (a recipe)