If your brain is ever too full, one way to unfill it is to lie on the floor and think about pasta. The other week, I lay on the floor for a change. As I considered the ceiling and its annoying neutrality, my brain whirred gently, like a freshly hatched helicopter. But about six minutes … Continue reading Lemon and Courgette Linguine (floor edition)
Lazy steak and ale pie but it’s in the style of an instagram beauty influencer
Editor's note: This will not age well and is probably a terrible idea but there you go. Enjoy. #AD You guys. You huns. You BOSSBABES. It’s time for like, the big reveal!! For the last few months, i’ve been working super hard on my range of slow cooked bovine protein products and OMG they are … Continue reading Lazy steak and ale pie but it’s in the style of an instagram beauty influencer
15 Minute Microwave Trifle
Yeah, yeah I know. Trifle. Microwave. Not exactly two words you expect to go together. But this isn’t a proper trifle really. It’s a sort of weird take on trifle because proper trifle takes ages if you’re making the custard and jelly yourself - that is, without the help of Mr Bird’s and Mr Hartley. … Continue reading 15 Minute Microwave Trifle
In defence of ugly food: hot concrete mushroom soup
I made a new Instagram account this week, for reasons relating to the longevity of a future career in food media. The whole process irritated my cynicism gland enough to produce a few squirts of suspicion before I relaxed into it and made my photos public. The thing is, I’ve never really liked Instagram. The … Continue reading In defence of ugly food: hot concrete mushroom soup
I have aged 50 years in 4 months (a recipe)
Hello chaps, apologies for my absence these last few weeks. The time has just disappeared in a puff of 40-hour working week. Such fun. Anyhoo, I haven’t slowed down in the kitchen at all during this last month, despite the barren wastelands of the old blogeroo. No; far from it. I’ve played with celeriac for … Continue reading I have aged 50 years in 4 months (a recipe)
Scrappy Graduate REVEALS what she eats in a week
This monster post is a bit of an experiment. I'm going to tell you what I ate for dinner each day this last week, along with roughly how I made it. I have no idea if this is how the rest of the world shop, cook and eat but let me know if this bears … Continue reading Scrappy Graduate REVEALS what she eats in a week
7 Kitchen F*ck-Ups (and how I mostly fixed them)
It occured to me, as hot butternut squash soup spaffed itself merrily across my work clothes the other evening, that no one really writes about their own kitchen mishaps. Yeah, sure, there's troubleshooting guides aplenty by lots of foodies, dressed up in warm, genial tones: "Hush, hush darling, don't worry about your split ganache; just … Continue reading 7 Kitchen F*ck-Ups (and how I mostly fixed them)
PRETTY SIMPLE PESTO PARMIGIANA
To set the scene for this dish, please type "noot noot, toot toot" into Google Translate and get the little man in the laptop to tell you how it sounds in Italian. Preferably over some loud speakers. I promise you won't regret it. Right, that should absolutely lay out the mood: we're flirting with italian … Continue reading PRETTY SIMPLE PESTO PARMIGIANA
An ode to sausage and bean stew
The best thing to do sir, when you haven’t a clue, sir is make stew from the humblest pig With a stove and a pan, sir and tomatoes in cans, sir Those flavours are going to be big * With your onions chopped fine, plus a bottle of wine and white beans from the cheapest … Continue reading An ode to sausage and bean stew
Balsamic Mushrooms with Halloumi and Basil
I have, over the last few months, graduated from studentdom and become a proper adult. I now pay council tax, have too much laundry and made my ever first visit to Halfords to buy a special treat for my pet car. Such good work, Freeborn! Do reward yourself with an after-work nap and quick browse … Continue reading Balsamic Mushrooms with Halloumi and Basil
Student Cuisine for the Gloomy Teen 