Apple of Crumbles

Hello ladles and gentlespoons,

The day has finally arrived where I admit to my shortcomings as a cook and tell you that I used a trangia pan as a baking dish bc I had forgotten to empty out the usual one of roasted vegetables.

Anyhoo, this is an apple crumble with some spicy memage going on in the background and a very caramelly apple taste. It’s bloody delicious, especially if you serve it with double cream mixed with Greek yogurt YAH but ice cream is mad good too.  This particular crumble in the photo is actually vegan (curse dairy allergies for all they’re worth – poor Jenny) but I’ve made it twice more unvegan and they’re pretty disunindistinguishable, so I’ll add the substitutions ((((((((iN pAreNThEsiS)))))))) in the ingredients list WHICH btw, is super friggin short so get baking.

what u need

For one crunchy boi

100g (4 big tablespoons) flour
75g (also around 4 tablespoons) butter (or something that you might not believe is actually not butter). Should be quite cold.
50g rolled oats (what you’d portion out for a decent sized bowl of porridge)
100g (3 big tablespoons) demerara sugar – or you can use granulated if you do not have this luxury.

You could also do some chopped nuts for the topping for extra yum

For a spicy dicey apple flavour

3 big cooking apples, or 6 eating apples that you need to use up

3 tablespoons of sugar (try to find brown) or more if you like it sweeter

teaspoon of cinnamon

tablespoon of butter or something that you might not believe is actually not butter

1/2 teaspoon of each of the following: nootmeg, cloves, vanilla essence (all optional but v delicious)

K so what u do

Rub the butter from the topping ingredients into the flour with your fingertips until it looks like breadcrumbs, or slap it in a blender and pulse it a few times. Stir in the oats and sugar and leave it for a mo.

Put oven to 180 degrees, which should be a straight line so none of your trays fall out.

Peel apples with a knife bc all veg peelers found in a student house are as sharp as an uneducated mars bar.

Core aforementioned apples with aforementioned knife. Chop said apples into bitesize chunks. Heat up a pan on the stove and melt the butter into it. Add the sugar and stir for a wee bit until it’s just starting to dissolve then add the apples and spices. Chuck it all around to coat everything evenly and then let it cook down for a tiny while until the edges of the apples are just going soft. You mibbe need a sploosh of hot water- but just a sploosh – if you think it’s not looking steamy enough.

Tip apples into suitable baking dish and sprinkle crumble topping all over. You should be getting excited now cos you’re just 30 minutes away from heaven.

Slide your crumble into the hot boi and bake it for about 30 mins, or until the top looks proper crispy and that. Take it out carefully and let it cool for a bit before diving in headfirst with some vanilla ice cream and a big spoono.

Also ur flat will smell good.

I’m done here. Pls cook my stuff.